No, really, what is in your huge, bulging wallet? Get it together, you are better than this.
1. Credit card.
Get one, use it sparingly, and pay your bill on time. Voila! You are an adult with established credit.
2. Driver’s license.
If you have #tbt braces or bangs in your picture either accept celibacy or get your butt to the DMV for a new picture.
3. Debit card
For when you’re too scared to use the other plastic.
4. Business cards
No silly quotes or graphics…I’m serious. Stick to name, e-mail, phone number, city/state, and profession. These bad boys are cheap and come in bulk, google it.
5. Metro/Subway card
Even if you’re all about Uber/Lyft, this is nice to have as a back up. Plus, you should know how to get around in your city. It makes you look resourceful as fu*k.
6. Insurance card
This is one of those “grown-up” things that you just have to have on you. Over 26 and off your parent’s insurance?www.healthcare.gov
7. ONE rewards card dedicated to your go-to coffee/pizza/whatever place.
This will help you limit the clutter of punch cards and coupons. Find your favorite place and just commit to it because Lord knows you have commitment issues in other aspects of life.
8. $20 in cash
For the little things. If you’re paying over $20, use the plastic.
Leave at home
1. Social Security Card
Memorize this number. You need it for registering to vote, DMV, tax forms, health coverage…Everything.
2. Blank, unsigned checks
What are you, crazy?
3. Library card
Get one if you do not have one. It’ll do you some good to go to some public places and you might even read something! There will not be hot people there.
Unless you are bringing one and plan on using it while you’re out, about, and sexually active.
5. Family/friend photos
Okay, maybe just one family pic, but otherwise you have the rest on your smart phone! Take this as an opportunity to decorate your walls with pictures rather than filling your wallet with them.
What are you, my dad?