Santa Cruz, California: A local 9 year old boy who passed away from polio will be missed, says mother Anita Busey. “We are all devastated by his death, but are comforted in the knowledge that his social skills were pretty good for his age.” As the number of parents who are choosing not to vaccinate their children rises (the rate of parents in California forgoing vaccination has doubled in the last seven year) outbreaks of preventable diseases including measles, whooping cough, and mumps have skyrocketed. Despite the overwhelming evidence and unanimous agreement among the scientific community that vaccines do not cause autism, some influential celebrities such as Jenny McCarthy have been incredibly vocal about the supposed link.
Pictured: Not a Scientist
To mothers like Anita Busey, the opinions of McCarthy are all they need to know. “I mean, who are you going to listen to? Thousands of doctors and scientists who have spent their lives studying diseases, or a Razzie Award winner of ‘Worst Actress’ and panelist on The View,” she remarked as her son’s casket was lowered into the ground.
Other parents helped to shed insight on why some wealthy Los Angeles communities have lower vaccination rates than many third world countries such as Liberia. “My daughter’s body is a temple, and I’m not going to let some know-it-all doctor put his science needle in her arm and misalign her chakras,” said Venice Beach local Melody Fairchild. She ended the interview to buy acid from a bystander and climbed into her Prius before we were able to get her closing statement.
Ms. Fairchild’s business associate
But what if people like Anita Busey and Melody Fairchild were right? What if the medical community was wrong, and there was a small chance that vaccinating children could result in autism? We asked Desmond Jeffries of Brooklyn, NY.
“Yes, some people say that 25% of measles victims require hospitalization, and that mumps can be fatal or whatever. But autistic kids have trouble making eye contact, and I’ll be damned if I let that bullshit into my house.”
As Anita Busey was leaving her son’s funeral, we asked what she hoped his legacy would be. “I just want people to remember him for his best qualities– like how he was able to focus well on his coloring books and that his vocabulary was adequate for his age group.”
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