I think that New Year’s resolutions are bullshit, mainly because if you really want to change some aspect of your life you may as well start right now. However, I get that resolutions are an easy way for many people to finally take the plunge. With that in mind, I want you to join me in a resolution pledge this year: New Year, no excuses.

What does no excuses mean? It means that your old reasons for not taking control over your health are no longer valid. Let’s take a look at some of the most common excuses people give for skipping the gym, or eating poorly.

  • I’m too busy
  • I’m too tired after work
  • I’m really stressed out right now, I’ll start when things calm down

I hate to break it to you, but everyone is tired and stressed and busy. What will set you apart is the recognition that you can overcome all of these issues. This may seem like a daunting task, but the trick is to not dive in head first. We’re going to start small, and over time the little changes will add up to big gains. Here’s how we’re gonna do it.

Step 1

Write down a specific, long-term goal. Don’t just say “I want to lose weight,” say “I want to lose 10 pounds by Easter” or “I want to fit into my old jeans by Halloween.” When you write down specific goals achievement becomes tangible.

Step 2

Make a small change in your life. Do it today. Replace those Oreos on your grocery list with bananas. Go for a walk. Sign up for a gym membership, the expense alone will motivate you to go at some point. No bullshit excuses, do it today.

Step 3

Next week you’re going to make another small change. Bring a water bottle to work and drink from that instead of your lunchtime Diet Coke. Buy a pair of running shoes. Maybe you’ll feel guilty enough to actually take them out for a spin. Besides, who doesn’t love a new pair of shoes?

Step 4

Keep adding to the list of small changes you are making to your life. By now you should have accumulated a few. Take a deep breath and appreciate your work thus far.

Step 5

Check back in with your progress towards your original goal. Are the pounds starting to come off? Good, keep on doing what you’re doing! Are you not seeing much progress? Ramp things up a bit until you start to see results, then keep at it.

Is this all really so hard? If you said yes, then I’ll be honest with you, you’re lazy. For those of you that thought “Hell, even I can do that,” congratulations, you no longer have an excuse not to. Over time your hard work (and it will be hard at first, believe me) will pay off. Not to mention, five year high school reunions are coming up and you damn sure want all those assholes to be jealous. If the thought of not looking like your slobby, degenerate classmates doesn’t motivate you, I don’t know what will. Now go out there and make 2016 your bitch.

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