Just the tips | Dating with Bumble

Thank God!  Bumble is here to save lonely guys from online rejection.  No more wasting time thinking of the best pickup line just like guys have been doing in bars/parties/the grocery store since puberty.  The girls have to talk to you first! Oh how the dating tables have turned.dating animated GIF

In order to help lonely guys everywhere, here are some areas to focus on to maximize your Bumble experience.

The Profile Picturepitch perfect animated GIF

Bumble is 95% pictures and 5% everything else. You NEED a good profile picture, and I’m not talking about a picture with you and your bros bro-ing out at a BroBQ.  The speed of the app caters to headshot style pictures.  She isn’t going to spend time looking at your bio like Tinder. 

A simple picture of your face will most likely be your only chance…so hope you’re good looking!  Just kidding…kind of.  Case and point, my roommate (good looking dude) has a headshot of him and his friend, Kelly (the most attractive man I have ever laid eyes on), as his profile picture.

He gets probably 30 matches a day.  Now no offence to Harry here, but I’m betting that none of these girls took the time to figure out which of the guys in the picture was him.  But they always message him. Always.  So props!

The Initial “Hey”

online animated GIF

HAH! Jokes on you, entire male population.  As much as Bumble planned on turning the online dating game on its head, most girls are still uncomfortable/apathetic about crafting perfect pick up lines to woo us stallions.  90% of the time, the most you are going to get is a “Hey” (or if you are really lucky “Heyyyy”). 

Accept it.  Own it.  Or don’t? The girl of your dreams would probably make a clever remark about one of your adorable pictures right? I don’t know man, the jury’s still out for that one.  Just realize you are essentially at the same place as Tinder or Hinge in terms of wooing your match. App based dating is still a new concept and the rules are still being written. One thing is for sure, however, people already know what they don’t like when it comes to dating.

The Responsedating animated GIF

This is what it all comes down to.  She gave you a “hey” with a few extra “y”s at the end, so you already know she is down for Taco Tuesday. There is a lot of pressure in responses on online dating, but with Bumble remember one thing: She hit you up first, man.  She totally digs you!

Well maybe she thought you were actually the other guy in your profile picture, but still.  Even though you have to come up with the conversation topic or a funny line, she at least took the time to acknowledge you right?  And honestly, that feels pretty good.  Maybe Bumble actually has figured it all out…

Ways to The Top | Schmoozing like a Boss


…to talk in a cozy or intimate manner to (someone), typically in order to manipulate, flatter, or impress them.

When you’re Jewish and the son of a salesman, it comes natural, the uncanny ability to casually insert yourself into conversations and dally around from one topic to the next. It’s a skill, and yes it can be learned.

Here’s a few tips to shmooze like a boss.

Engage by listening

Physically show them respect. Give a firm handshake to start out, nobody likes a limp dick wrist. Be distraction free; put your phone away, hold eye contact, nod throughout. People will spill their guts out to you if they know you’re actually paying attention to them. The less you say the better, because you might open your mouth and say something dumb or show your age.

Remember, it’s all about them

Your conversation shouldn’t be like ping pong, it should be like tee ball. Ask open ended questions. People love to talk about themselves. It’s their favorite thing to do other than talking about other people.

Be able to talk on a range of subjects

The name of the game is bullshit, but you knew that. Know a little bit about a lot. Keep up to date with major events in news, politics, sports, and entertainment. Hell even, Drake’s diss track is great conversation fodder…just kidding. If you can find a middle ground where you both admire something, explore it until it runs out.

Have the confidence to connect

Wedding Crashers might be the greatest movie about schmoozing. They’re not trying to rob or manipulate people, they just want to get into their pants using humor, charm, wit. They operate under a guise of confidence and poise knowing everybody else lacks that. Remember that most people are just as nervous and shy as you are. Joke around a bit, make them laugh, allow their guard to lower. Tell them a story, show that you’re a cool person.  Learn how to be the guy/girl that people want to work with and have a beer with. 

The exit

When the conversation has run its course, acknowledge it. But wow them by remembering their fu*kin name and continuing the relationship. “It was an absolute pleasure meeting you, Paul. I’d love to chat more. Do you have a business card I can have?” When you say their name back to them 20 minutes after you heard it for the first time, you will blow their mind. It’s an oddity if you can bring the conversation full circle and leave them remembering you.

Schmoozing is like flirting for business. Now go score, you motor-boatin’ son-of-a-bitch.

Why You Should Never Buy a Girl a Drink

“Hey, can I buy you a drink?”

99% of men lead with this as their go-to pick up line. Unless you’re T-Pain or trying to be ironic, or both at the same time, it shows you have nothing else to offer her other than a feeble attempt at a conversation. She just won, not you.

I’m not saying don’t buy her a drink at all, but she needs to deserve that free drink. That drink costs an hour’s worth of latte art, make it count.

Chances are the girl already has a drink, in that case, don’t ask to buy her another drink. If she doesn’t have one and you want to talk to her, resist the urge. Chat her up; see if you have a shot before you bust out the plastic.

I’m not saying don’t buy her a drink at all, but she needs to deserve that free drink.

Think of talking to girls at a bar like you’re talking to them in line at the post office or a restaurant (I know it sounds weird but it’s a mindset; change the way you think and you can change the way you act). Keep it simple, unthreatening and like you’re actually interested in what she has to say.

“I see you’re here with a bunch of your girlfriends, what are you celebrating?”

“Oh, we’re not.”

“Oh no? it looks like it, you’re all dressed up looking good tonight, thought there was an occasion.”

If all she’s looking for is a drink, you’ll know in a minute if she starts to slip away into the bar crowd. In that case, she’s not worth it. Keep moving and stick to your guns.

Sometimes girls will actually ask you, “So are you going to buy me a drink?”

And just like I taught you, “Why? Do you think you deserve one? Tell me why I should buy you a drink, sell me on it.”

Of course deliver this with a touch of sarcasm and charm but girls love that stuff. They like to be played with, but don’t be a dick. If you can show some confidence, and a twinge of cockiness, you might be looking at a real conversation…and maybe some chicken and sex.

Some girl in there definitely deserves a drink from you. Be the 1% and go find her.